Wow, I finally did it. I finally made my way to creating a blog. I spent months contemplating whether I should create one because of my fear of what people may think or may not think. Isn’t that weird that I may actually care that people don’t have thoughts on my thoughts; funny. It doesn’t matter how much I tell myself that I am confident, or that I am strong enough to not care what people think about me, I always end up back at square one. Fear. Lately I have been thinking a lot about happiness and what it means to me and how can I keep that constant euphoria that comes over me when I am happy. I’m human, hopefully just like everyone else who can read this blog post. So I naturally just become sad when things that mess up the flow of my life happen but the problem is that I don’t like being that way. So, I have been thinking and researching ways that help cure sadness and stops it from lingering through the days, weeks, and some cases months in my life. Upon my research I discovered the word “Eternal Sunshine”. For those of you who have may never encountered this word, “Eternal Sunshine” is based on the idea that traumatic events/memories in your life are stored in a part of your brain that is not really accessed as much as the part of your brain that remembers happy things. Because of this weird process you can essentially only recall the good things while the bad things remain dormant and your always happy. Yay! It sounds so great until you realize that is impossible to feel happy all the time. Some days you will just feel like complete crap and that’s okay because we’re not robots and we have more emotions besides happy. What I found is that “Eternal Sunshine” starts internally (Wow that sounded really corny but I promise it is not). To find that sunshine, that may fill the void in your life, you need a spirit of joy. Happiness is based on situations while Joy is based on something bigger than what you are used too. Sometimes joy can be found in religion, or other times in self-confidence and security of yourself, and sometimes it can simply be found in a very deep relationship between you and another person. I wish I could tell you how to find that Joy but each person has to find it on their own. I still haven’t found it myself but I know that I am own a journey. I just have one question for you: Are you satisfied in who you are? If not maybe you need to go on your own journey.
P.S. This post was very emotional to me and I may have rambled a bit but that’s okay because I feel that I needed to share this with everybody. Also I come up with my deepest thoughts alone and not bombarded with distractions. I encourage you to do the same and get away from all the distractions in your life and just breathe and think. Wow you may actually have some real odd thoughts that shock you. Also if you are interested in this topic I encourage you to read the poem Eloise to Abelard by Alexander Pope. Yes it is a very old poem so it may be hard to understand and yes I have read it. Lastly if anyone is reading this what did you think about my first piece and I promise that not all my posts will be like this.